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Tainted Thoughts , Tainted WingsIn the begining my thoughts were like feathers,
Sleek smooth and dazzling white,
Like the ones that ride on an angels back,
Full of desire and daring to imagine,
I fell into my dreams heels over head,
I was cautious, smart I deemed,
But no matter what it all seemed perfect,
Then came the suttle things,
They specked my feathers like ash,
The pain and anxiety,
The problems surrounding me in society,
But still there you stood,
My ever green constant and proud,
Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought,
That so easily I would lose you one day,
And my wings fade and ceased their glimmer,
As the oil black took over and killed there shine,
One by one the feathers fell,
Useless and limp,
And I try to reign in my thoughts,
But without you I'm staggering blindly in darnkess,
Looking for the light that leads to you.
Losing FaithMy soul has become a tomb
Sealed shut from the outside
Buried 6ft into the shadows of my mind
And the oxygen within is dissipating
I am dying inside, slowly fading
But no one can save me
It's been too long it seems
They've forgotten that I am here
And when they excavate my body
All they will find is the shell I used to be
There will be nothing more than a husk
My soul will be gone, vanquished by the dark
But still I hope for mercy, sweet escape
That maybe someone, anyone can hear me
And come digging to find me
To save my ragged heart from myself
Mirror MirrorMirror mirror on the wall,
Whos the fakest of them all,
Who once shined then fell apart,
Who lost her beauty and her smarts,
Mirror mirror tell me now,
Whos the talk through out the town,
A town so small talk spreads so quick,
So quick to say and full of pricks.
Mirror mirror who am I,
I thought I knew, I really try,
But now I stand before you now,
Feeling lost and never found.
Mirror mirror what do I do,
I try to smile but I feel blue,
Tomorror another Monday reins,
I'll walk the halls and it begins again.
InsanityI take a path in my mind,
Lost in the shadows,
Unable to escape,
Surrounded by the wilderness,
Over-grown and confusing,
With wolves nipping at my heels,
But I cannot find an exit.
I Can't Help ItI get my hopes up,
I hope and I dream,
My heart flutters,
And My smile beams,
I look at you,
And everything gleams.
A chance for change,
A place to restart,
Maybe one day,
I'll give you my heart.
I feel so much better,
Than I did before,
I've picked myself up,
Off of the floor.
You are so sweet,
And your eyes shine,
I can't help,
To want to make you mine!
Take Me AwayTake me back, back in time,
A time and place I once called mine,
Where the air was clean and I was free,
And the friends I had surrounded me,
Take me to the place from so long ago,
A place in my heart thats no longer whole,
Where a single word wouldn't break me down,
And I could always stand my own ground,
Take me away from this place that I am at,
A place where I'm not always up to bat,
Where I can rebuild myself and my values,
And I no longer walk this lonely avenue,
Take me far away from my home,
A place where I will no longer feel alone,
Where my simple heart will fill full and free,
And I will can just be me.
What Do You DoCould I pour out my heart,
Or would you not listen,
As I make my words into art,
Or ignore me as my tears glisten,
Could I paint you a picture,
Full of colors so bright,
That you might consider,
And let your heart take flight,
Could I write you a story,
Full of a love so sweet,
To ease all your worry,
And make your heart skip a beat,
What could I do to make you see,
How should I describe this feeling,
How do I show you that I'm only me,
Why do I prevent my heart from healing?
Finding StrengthThe sting of betrayal,
Pain a sharp as thorns,
Pages grasped and torn in hand,
Tears spilled dot the ground,
The world spins too fast,
The sudden feeling of falling,
And you are alone,
But no one else will know,
Shoulders poised you rise,
Walk with eyes ahead,
Smiling with grace,
While inside you ache.
Dreading the NightWhat do you do in the still quiet of night,
As thoughts race through a restless mind,
Sleep is not a willing ally and exhaustion set in,
Yet still you lay remembering every detail,
Every single mistake glaring you in the face,
And loneliness comes crashing into your heart,
No matter how hard you try it always returns,
Time passes so slowly it hurts without end,
Bad habits cannot be easily broken they say,
But can yours be truely broken at all you wonder,
As you lie thinking to yourself in the darkness,
What was it that you should have said instead,
Still when finally sleep takes you its not enough,
You know you will wake to the sun exhausted,
Tomorrow the cycle returns and you dread the night.
Polar Oppositesi lay here in solitude
drowning in liquid powder
while he wanders
through flakes of mercury
maybe i'm too frozen for him to recover
The jigsaw boyThe girl sits on the dusty floor,
Surrounded by odds and ends.
Holding the jigsaw boy, trying to put him together again.
He fell from a very great height,
She sobs for him every night.
None of the pieces fit.
He looks up at her with empty eyes,
The colour of faded blue skies.
His skin is covered in scars and cracks,
Maps that lead her to nowhere
Round and round in circles, like a merry go round.
His soul is scattered around her like glass,
She cuts herself trying to pick the pieces up.
She tries to be distant, she tries to be kind
But in her heart she knows she broke this boy
That lies in pieces at her feet.
She crushed his heart in the palm of her hand
And now she doesn’t know what to do.
She knows that she doesn’t have much time,
Before he falls over this ledge.
He builds these walls between them,
That she will have to climb.
Life has lost its colour and time has lost its grace.
Where his heart was is now an empty space,
Pain consumes his soul.
My ReflectionMy reflection
Oh, how I hate that mirror
Please break it down
The nights I stand gazing,
I'm on my knees, begging you please
I don't want to look anymore...
No, I don't want to see
Ghost staring back at me
Driving me to insanity
Stuck in between…
Glass and false reflections
Taking over me
Even I don't recognize myself
I don’t know the person staring at me
I know it’s me
CAN’T YOU SEE!
I’M IN TOO DEEP!
This feeling, itches….
Down inside flesh and bone
Why do you laugh, when I cry?
Why did I do the things you told me to?
You reflect back at me
I know what my eyes cannot see
I will never be free
My arm still burns
Cuts and bruises covered me
Just thinking of it
Gives me a rush
'Maybe two more pounds less
You will look and feel much better'
I know it is wrong
I try not to follow along
But I’m not always strong
I always need more ,
More to feel better
I can't necessarily blame you
When it is me...
I am y
razor-sharp shakespeare.dear boy:
right now a girl is
remembering too many painful conversations
about why exactly she is
stripping the feathers from her wings with sharp-edged poetry
and watching the slashes bleed words.
right now a girl is
brainstorming what she could have done better
and doing exactly the opposite
for wounded wings breed perversity.
and who knows, maybe that girl is
also thinking about the aquamarine eyes
that tempted her to flit higher
until her wings remembered they're raw and broken
then snapped and let her fall like icarus into a stormy sea.
and it's a sure thing that that girl limps home later
and reads Shakespeare with a razor blade as a bookmark.
my dear boy,
please keep a better eye on her in the future.
if there is one.
Holding Back TearsWho knew that just sitting in a room and trying to think over things to make yourself feel better can be so god damned difficult?
All I wanted was a few moments to myself because I heard that when you think you eventually feel better--
Sorry, that statement is wrong.
I sink into bed, tossing and turning;
I feel as if I got a noose around my neck
That's getting tighter as time is passing.
Not to cry;
I tell myself lie after lie
That everything'll be better
If I don't let any emotions fly.
A thousand thoughts go by
And I let out a shaky sigh;
A tear begin rolling down my cheek;
I curse myself for being so weak
But now that stopper I'd put on my bottle's starting to give--
Any minute now I'll break down and succumb to those tears
That I'd held back for all those years
Of reminiscing over my idiotic failures and fears;
I really need to switch gears
Before I expose my weakest form to those peers--
Oops! I let out a choked sob but then scold myself
Take My HeartWounded hearts bleed so deep
I grasp bending down on one knee
I up look up at her
With tears in my eyes
Begging and pleading one more time
Please I cry
Remove it from me
I can't handle the pain
So deep within me
Let me feel nothing
Because its all a lie
Love is supposed to be beautiful
Yet instead I cry
Lifting the knife
With shaking hands
Blood dripping from it
Into the sand
Kneeling down next to me
Her eyes open wide
Staring at the fresh scars
Where my heart does be
Shaking her head
She holds me close
Covering the cuts
As I lean in close
Cry little one
She says to me
Pour your heart out
Let the pain free
Endlessi could talk to you
until my throat bled
from all the sharp corners
of every word
and i'd listen to your voice
until the sun
circles the moon.
and then some
Thank YouThank you for the joys that you gave me, friend;
I thank you for your smiles, which made me smile in return.
No, really, thanks for the promises of a friendship that'll never end--
Until death do us part.
I'll also credit you, fellow companion, for listening to me as I poured out my heart;
And even more, I can't express enough gratitude for your hugs.
Thanks for the sorrows
Which you'd shared with me as we exchanged our life's' incorrigible bugs.
I thank you for your fury as well;
For I never minded as you lashed out your angst
And the bitter words you'd yell
Because I know that you don't mean it
And rather than scolding, you need my shoulder to cry on;
A person that'd listen to your woes and understand them as we sit.
I thank you for never hesitating to trust me
And telling me about everything;
In this manner, I was able to make you feel whole again
And relate to you while you grab onto my arm and cling.
Even though I'm never able to fully heal
InspirationIt's there and It's not.
Just out of reach.
Just beneath the surface.
The inspiration you seek.
Your reason for writing.
The passion in your art.
This passion that you need,
somewhere in your heart.
But it's hiding,
evading your touch.
How can you write
Without inspiration, your crutch?
You set down the pencil,
take a deep breath.
Don't strain your sanity.
It's all you have left.
The inspiration will come.
Be patient and see.
It may take a while,
but it will soon be free.
Nervous MovementYou're a dime a dozen in a sea of billions.
Individuality has no significance in numbers so vast.
And while this fact makes looking forward hard
we can't keep living in the past.
You're a nervous movement in a freeze frame scene.
Steady hands won't help hold up such a fragile act.
And while you take your time keeping character
you fake what you can't take back.
With nothing more than a thought we form our actions
and this is where we extinguish the lie they tried to invent.
The lie that we painted our lives without passion
well conclusions are useless with no attempt to commence.
You're a song I can't name stuck in my head.
I've listened to you before and probably will again.
And while I can hum the melody all day long waiting
for it to hit me I still won't know where you've been.
You're a gust that has never changed direction.
Nothing can touch you you're only felt as you brush skin.
And while you can't be stopped nothing lasts
nothing escapes time not even the wind.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More